Why feeling bad for yourself is a waste of time…

by mvldz

There is an ebb & flow to life that leads us through a never ending variation of emotions… The moments of self pity though are so unbelievably counter-productive. Sure sadness engulfs us at times — this is natural! It is staying in that helpless state of sadness, feeling bad for yourself, that will not do you any good. It’s not leading you anywhere. It’s keeping you stagnant. It’s mentally stopping you from being your awesome self! Because let’s be honest, you’re totally hiding that awesome-ness when you are feeling sad for yourself.

I’m breaking this up into a two part post for now. The first being, how to BEAT self pity. The second being, how to get yourself back on track once you’ve gotten out of that rut.

We all go through the moments. Work isn’t what it should be. Love life is horrible or non-existant. Emptiness. There is a lack of drive, motivation, and there is no passion flowing through your veins. You know what passion/happiness/*positivity* feels like, because there are reminiscent moments of truimphant-ness in your past — but not now… And you just wallow. Wading in a pool of self-pity.

I promise this is meant to be an optimistic/uplifting sort of post (hopefully i’ll get there soon enough before depressing anyone TOO much.)

There are things that can be done to help you to shorten that swim, wasting less of your time (life is short) and getting back on track — the following are some that work for me:

1) Surround yourself with positivity… In EVERY_POSSIBLE_WAY! Positivity and Optimism are contagious. Surround yourself with people who are there for you, and remind you of why you are amazing. They do this not to make you feel better (even though that is what they want for you) they do so because they have been beside you for such an extensive period of your life, that they probably know you, your strengths, and your weaknesses better then you.

—– 1a) Take their opinions/statements/comments to heart! While wallowing, the LAST thing you want to do is feel good about yourself — and that is the reason I need to mention this! Take their words for exactly what they are… Don’t doubt them… This takes a certain amount of trust — but if you just have at least one or two people like this during those difficult moments, you will be able to pull yourself out of it in no time…

2) Make a list of your most positive qualities — with concrete examples. We all need a reminder sometimes. We need to remember that we are awesome, and keeping a personal list of this, is the best motivator possible. Write this when you are happy, write it when you are not — but always keep it easily accessible (I have mine over several different random notes on my iPhone.) This helps with keeping you centered, and reminded of why you need stop feeling bad for yourself, and lift up your spirits. They can be anything from “I’m a great listener — because X, Y, Z.” to “I’m a good cook.” Make sure the list includes all of your QUIRKS! I personally appreciate my strange awkwardness. Others may not see it that way, but I do, and it is a personal positive trait (and something most definitely on my list.)

3) Do something you love to do. Sometimes we just need that funk knocked out of us, by something that is amazing and that we love. We need to have that sense of love, passion, motivation shocked back into us. Do something you love, and just envelope yourself in the moment. It doesn’t matter what it is — and you don’t care what anyone else may think of it. Is it too geeky!? It doesnt matter! Also — I hope your geeky-ness is on your list you made! Even if you have to force yourself to enjoy it — you will be reminded of what it is that makes you happy… You will be reminded of that happiness, why you are deserving of it, and why being in your pity pool doesn’t feel as good as being happy and content 🙂

4) Find a volunteering gig. This isn’t necessarily something to JUST do during these moments — but always! Besides doing an act of kindness — it helps to remind you of the truer, more humane moments of life. There is more to life then whatever it is that’s got you down — it helps as a remainder of what to be grateful for. There have been so many times where i’ve been feeling not entirely positive about things, have wanted to skip out on my volunteering commitments and wallow… instead I find that this obligation ends up bringing out a sense of joy, helps in melting away my unhappiness, and just reminds me that I’m better for the world actively contributing to it’s positivity, rather then negativity…

5) Combat self pity with grateful-ness. Find things to be grateful for. They are all around you!